Everything hurts - and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work

The gleam in you eye is the sun hitting your bifocals

You feel like the morning after, but you haven't been anywhere

When you drop something and have to bend down twice to pick it up

Your 'little black book' contains only doctor's names

You get winded playing cards

Your children begin to look middle aged

You join a health club, but don't go

A dripping tap causes an uncontrollable urge

You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions

You look forward to a dull evening

You need spectacles to find your glasses

You turn out the light for economy instead of romance

You sit in a rocking chair but can't make it go

Your knees buckle, but your belt won't

Your back goes out more often than you do

Your house is too big and the medical chest not big enough

Your teeth sink into a steak and stay there

Your birthday cake collapses under the weight of candles

You still think of money in pounds, shillings and pence

Policemen seem younger and younger

provided by Rachel Golby (our thoughts are with David!!!)