One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven. There he meets the Lord Himself. The Lord says to the cat, “You lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let me know.” The cat thinks for a moment and says, “Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor.” The Lord stops the cat and says, “Say no more,” and a wonderful fluffy pillow appears.
A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and go to heaven. Again, the Lord is there to great them with the same offer. The mice answer, “All of our lives we have been chased.  We have had to run from cats, dogs and even women with brooms. Running, running, running, we’re tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don’t have to run anymore?” The Lord says, “Say no more,” and fits each mouse with beautiful new roller skates.
About a week later the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow. The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, “How are things since you got here?” The cat stretches and yawns and replies, “It is wonderful here. Better than I could have ever expected.  And those ‘Meals on Wheels’ you’ve been sending by are the best!”

A boy and his father visiting from a third world country were at a shopping centre. 
They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.  
The boy asked his father, “What is this, Father?” The father responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is!” 
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an elderly old lady shuffled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. 
The walls opened and the lady stepped between them into a small room. 
The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. 
They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. 
The walls opened up again and a voluptuous 24-year old woman stepped out.
The father turned to his son and said, “Son, go get your mother”.