A GASTRONOMIC PERAMBULATION

St Michael's School gave us many stories and anecdotes which come readily to mind; however, it did not give us....... me at any rate...... a ready fund of attributable quotations from brainy bods outside of the school!! So I cannot tell you who said, "we are what we eat....... " I should know, but even if I was ever told I have long since forgotten.

However, I have not forgotten what we ate. More importantly, I have not forgotten many of those responsible for what we ate. I can readily recall that stalwart team of ladies under the keen, but to us boys unobtrusive, eye of Mrs Pott.

Ruling over the kitchen was Mrs Clarkson, every inch a Cook; large, or was it that I was just small, with a stern demeanour under which lay a soft and kind heart. How often she would chase me out of the kitchen only to turn a blind eye when her number two, Mrs Stewart, smuggled out a tasty mid-morning snack. Mrs Richardson, (Ricky) who lived at the bottom of Ingoldisthorpe hill, must be remembered with fondness by all. What shall I say about Daphne?? She took some stick from us boys and mostly took it in good part. Without Daphne the....... (can you really believe it?)....... COAL fired stove would not have been lit in the morning nor kept going through until teatime when we brewed-up in a Stewing Pan. Peeling the potatoes, scrubbing the floors, washing-up...... what a job!!

It must have been a great relief to Daphne when Jackie - known to some as "Jackie Kitchen" - was recruited. I think Daphne must have received some sort of promotion!! Memory plays tricks after all these years, but I seem to remember that Daphne was not the only one relieved by Jackie's arrival. What do you say, boys??!!

This kitchen brigade managed to turn out some very toothsome grub. Well, mostly! I know many did not vote for the Fish Pie on Friday's, but one did not have to have the baked beans with it. Meat Pie; Sausages and Roast Beef were among the most popular. Stew with or without Curry (did I hear "with gristle") was less thought of. "A small please, Sir. "

I never understood why Rice Pudding was not popular or why PINK Blancmange was. The Apple Pie and Custard and the Steamed Treacle Pudding were huge favourites. "Who's for seconds?" "Sit up straight, Boy!"

That was Monday to Friday at Ingoldisthorpe. Saturday was "Mouse Trap" Cheese and Roll. Not the easiest thing to eat when in a hurry to catch the bus to the weekends relaxation. But eat it you must, or you would be made to sit until you had.

Memory is kind. It tends to erase the horrors and enhance the pleasures of times past. I can therefore, even now, vividly remember queuing in the passage - (by the Tuck Room) - to the kitchen at The Shooting Lodge where Mrs Roberts - no comments, please - was panicking because the Cauliflower Cheese was too grey, or that the Scrambled Eggs were more like Egg Custard - but green! Was that a special "Own Label" brand of Baked Beans? Gresham House was unbearable on those nights! Why were The Shooting Lodge Sausages a harder variety than the one cooked at Ingoldisthorpe? Surely, nobody could do that to a Banger!!!!!!

Breakfast! Who's for bacon? How did they get it so crispy? Kippers, and on special occasions Bloaters, are to my mind best left forgotten. I still have difficulty in sitting at a table when my wife orders Kippers or Bloaters. I am certain that The Shooting Lodge is where HARD BOILED EGGS got their name.

I could go on. What was your favourite? Did I hear Butter Beans? How many lumps?.......... in your porridge? But I am being summoned to Dinner. Bon Appetite.